12/23 HEAT REBEAK



ALLOW MYSELF TO INTRODUCE... MYSELF I apologize to all two of my readers for being absent the last week. I started a new job, and my time management this week sucked ass.... so.... I hate myself I guess.

BRAD HATES:
People mispronouncing his name
Foglights
Laguna Beach
Omarosa
John Cena's Spinner Belt
Viscera
People Not Participating in the End of the Year 2005 Awards
People who hate Unions
Myself

PRE-HEAT: I have received one Christmas Card from my gay friend I used to go to school with. And my best friend's girlfriend bought me a BB Gun that is in shotgun form. That's my tally so far. To be continued? Perhaps...

WAIT... THIS ISN'T A MATCH

Out hosts are WHAT THE FUCK AM I WEARING A SUIT FOR and WHY AM I DRESSED DOWN MORE THEN TOMMY DREAMER? They are Tommy Dreamer in a suit and tie, and Todd Grisham in a suit with NO tie. Didn't his mama teach him out to dress?

We get a video montage of last year's Diva Search, which I get to not listen to due to my music, and just watch. Dreamer looks to be counting on his fingers for some reason. Dreamer looks pretty good in a suit, for some reason. Some girl in pink dances, a girl does the splits, some girl spills milk all over herself, and I cry. Some girl falls on her face, someone does jumping jacks. The same girl does the splits, and this time the milk girl plays with paint. Another girl pours beer on herself liek an idiot. Then we eliminate them all. There can be only one. It should be like in Highlander where the loser gets beheaded. They show Ashley winning and getting on her knees. Somebody should tell her that she needs to get on her kneed TO win, not after. We're back to Grisham saying something to Dreamer, who I still can't hear over the music, and now Ashley getsa interviewed about doing photo shoots while wearing her hat. Somebody should tell her it's on crooked. That could be embarrasing.

SOMETHING WORTH TURNING OFF MY MUSIC FOR.

Grisham and Dreamer talk about Eddie Guerrero abit, and then we go back to the Eddie RAW Tribute show where Vince talks at the beginning of the show with the lockerroom behind him. Are they gonna... yeah... ten bell salute and we fade back to Dreamer to introduce the Three Doors Down Eddie Tribute Video, which is hard for me to recap so....

SOMETHING WORTH TURNING MY MUSIC BACK ON.

I guess it wouldn't be a recap show without Triple H, eh? Wait... ECW moment? WTF? Heyman and the Dudleys facing off against the RAW roster and then having the rest of the ECW roster come out and clean house. God... that was such a great PPV. Dreamer is awesome... he pushed Grisham off camera, talks about ECW, and then lets him BACK on camera. Ha ha. Then Dreamer Flair chops Grisham. EVEN BETTAH! Then we recap Triple H coming back, killing Flair, and winning the Last Man Standing match. Grisham is the only one who says one sentance about HHH losing to Flair at Taboo Tuesday. Conspiracy theorists, START YOUR ENGINES.

MAIN EVENT? LIARS!

They show Austin stunning Vince, then stunning Shane. Shane has the best foot shuffle ever. Then he stuns Steph, and then Linda. Everyone is right. He should have stunned Vince, then stunned Steph and Linda like he did Shane. No talking, just BAM and it's done. Now we have a video package of the Bischoff Trial and Eric being thrown in a garbage truck and killed. Remember, we never depict people getting killed on WWE TV, remember? Vince said that... But we've killed Animal (I remember them doing that.) We killed Eric. We killed Undertaker. We killed Tim White. Somebody kill me before I have to watch more of this...

FINAL THOUGHTS: I can't wait till there's wrestling back... maybe I should start recapping Impact instead...