11/13 VELOCITY REBEAK
BLOGGING IT UP: I wrote most of this before Sunday, I just didn't get a chance to finish it or do anything. Eddie Guerrero, as most of you know, died on Sunday Morning at 38. I don't really have words to say what I feel. But, in less then a day, the Eddie Guerrero thread on the Wrestlecrap boards has over 10000 views alone. Everyone is emotional, and RAW and Smackdown will be tribute shows this week. As of when I submit this, it isn't officially known what killed him, but it looks like a heart attack. I don't personally believe drugs were involved here, but I'm sure that his previous drug use at the least weakened his heart. Eddie really was one of the best wrestlers out there in the industry ever, and I'm going to miss him. If anyone is interested, a video similar to the tribute video that everyone is watching is on my site. At the end of our show, we had a tribute. That was how I dealt with the way I felt. If you want to view the video, click HERE and scroll to the bottom and click play. I also made a banner. I think it puts into a media what I am feeling. If anyone has any questions, or comments on anything, feel free to send along feedback to me at email@example.com and I will post it in next week's recap. I'm the only weekly recap show here that I am aware of. But, here's what you came to see...
PRE VELOCITY: Wow. I just got it. Velocity's opening looks like you're driving really fast. Velocity = Fast. Ha. I typed Fat at first. No wonder Simon Dean is on this show...
No recap? Shenanigans. How else am I supposed to fast forward through large amounts of these shows without typing anything? Out first is FatOD 2005 is Heidenriech and Animal. They're opponents are THIS JOBBING IS RACISM HERE, PIAZON. They are the FBI, Nunzio and Big Vito. Clap for them. They like it.
We start out with Animal fat slaming Nunzio into the ring, and then fat drop kicking him. WTF? Nunzio rolls out when Animal yells at the sky, probably praying for Twinkies to fall from the sky. LOD Chant from the fans. Sigh. Heidenriech tagged in, and Nunzio comes in and slaps him in the face. Nunzio bails and we run around the ring, and back INTO the ring. Nunzio goes to the ropes, but eats a boot from Heidenreich. On the apron, Animal licks his lips in anticipation at eating boots. Heidenreich looks too much like Papa Shango. Just blacker. Vito hits Heidenreich from behind, and Nunzio hits a running baseball kick to the face. Tag in to Vito. Vito puts the boots to Heidenreich. Shoots Heidenreich to the ropes. Heidenreich stops it with a kick, but Vito hits a clothesline for a two count. Vito has Heidenreich back up in a front facelock, tag in to Vito. Heidenreich immediately punches him around silly, but Nunzio pokes him in the eyes. Heidenreich is down on his knees as Nunzio has an arm lock. Heidenreich is as tall as Nunzio when he's on his knees.... Jesus Christ. I never noticed that before either. Heidenreich just stands up and basically whips Nunzio off of his arm. Vito tags himself in and hits a bunch of shoulderbreakers on Heidenreich. Tag out to Nunzio. They go for a double team whip, but Heidenreich clotheslines them both, and then casually tags in Animal and gets out of the ring. Way to no sell you fucking idiot. Animal hits a clothesline to Nunzio. Then another. Back body drop to Vito. Shoots Nunzio to the ropes and hits a powerslam for two. Broken up by Vito. Heidenreich comes in for no reason. Vito attempts to hit Heidenreich, who kicks him to the midsection and dumps him. Animal has Nunzio on his shoulders. Heidenreich up top for the Doomsday Device and the three count. Animal is all fat and happy. Get that man a pizza or two.
EL SECOND EL MATCHO
Out first is MY SCOOTER NEEDS RIMS is Simon Dean. Steve Romero thinks he needs a haircut. He could stand to lose... a little up top. *Rimshot.* Simon says a bunch of stuff, but I pretty much refuse to transcribe promos. It's in my contract. Get yourself a Union kids. His opponent interupts his promo, SMACKDOWN'S JOHN CENA, or Hardcore Holly. He made a poopy joke, hence the Cena nickname.... stop staring at me. Simon hides behind the ref, and is able to get some sucker punches in on Holly, but Holly no sells, reverses and pounds the crap out of Simon. Simon in the corner, and eats some knife edge chops from Holly. Holly takes him to another corner for another couple chops. GOD DAMN! That last one was STIFF AS HELL. Jesus... did Simon dent Holly's car or fuck his wife or something? Holly goes for the Alabama Slamma, but Simon grabs the ropes and bails out. Simon gets a forearm or two on the outside, then rolls Holly in for a two count. Simon locks in a modified Dragon Sleeper. Somewhere, Simon took off his applet straps ala Kurt Angle. I missed it somewhere. Simon with some kicks, puts Holly in the corner for some knees to the back and a clothesline. Huge "Holly" chant from the crowd. Fuck you crowd. Chant MY name! Holly with a small package on Simon for two, they both get up and Holly gets some knife edge chops in on Simon. Simon shoots Holly to the corner, and gets himself that Dragon Sleeper again as the Holly chant starts up again. Holly powers up, arm drags Simon, and hits a full nelson slam. Both men are down as we all fumble around. Simon has Holly, but Holly fights back with some punchery and chops. Holly hits a clothesline, then shoots Simon to the ropes for a dropkick, which gets a two count. Simon goes to the roeps to get himself up, and Holly grabs the legs, kicking Simon to the "solar plexus" Holly picks up Simon for the Alabama Slamma or Slam or Slammer, depending on who is commentating. It gets a three count. I tap out as well...
ALA 3RD MATCH SANDWHICHES
Out first is TURN IT UP, YOU CAN'T HEAR ME DANCE is Scotty 2 Hotty, who the ladies apparently love. His opponent is UNDEFEATED... KASH IN YOUR BETTING SLIPS is Kid Kash, who is currently undefeated. Which I am really happy about. Although he's wearing the goofy yellow trunks... The two circle as the fans clap Scotty. Lockup, Kash gets the wrist lock on Scotty, as he continues to lock it in. Scotty flips out and reverses it. Kash reverses it into a waistlock takedown. Scotty back up and gets a hammerlock. Kash with a hair pull takedown, then runs behind the ref to make sure Scotty can't catch him. Yeah, that'll work. Scotty gets his own wristlock, but Kash breaks it with the thumb to the eye. Scotty reverses a whip to the corner, and then shoots Kash back and forth from corner to corner a few dozen times. Or... actually 3 times. Scotty with some mounted punching so the crowd can practice their numbers. This episode is brought to you by the Number 4. Kash shoves Scotty off and throws in in the corner shoulder first, then just tosses him to the mat, and starts stomping on the arm. He's sabotaging the worm! GENIUS! Kash with a shoulder lock as the crowd is behind Scotty. Scotty punches out, but Kash with a knee stops that. Kash shoots Scotty to the corner, but Kash eats the boot when he charges in. Kash shoots Scotty to the ropes after some punchery, but Scotty hits a clothesline. Scotty yells like an idiot, and shoots Kash to the corner. Kash flips out, but gets a superkick from Scotty, then the reverse bulldog. Which means it's time for the WORM, but Kash just rolls out of the ring like a dick. Awesome. Kash racks Scotty's arm on the ropes, and goes to the turnbuckle, but Scotty knocks him down, and goes for a superplex. Kash knocks him off, sending him headfirst to the ropes. Kash hits a springboard moonsault for the three count. He may have missed it, but they edited it so you never see it hit, so he probably missed... I don't know... ask Shane.
YOUR MAIN EVENTAH!
Recap of the Smackdown Vs. RAW crap.
Out first is JOGGING BUDDIES. Paul London and Brian Kendrick. Thier opponents are WOULD YOU LIKE A CUP O TEA WITH YOUR ASSKICKING? is Paul Burchill and William Regal. London and Regal to start, lockup puts London in the corner. Regal doesn't break, and takes down London. Lots of dancing, and London hits a shoulderblock off the ropes on Regal. Tag out to Brian, and he hits the Mushroom Stomp on Regal. Regeal shoots Brian to the ropes, but Brian hits a flying chop for a one count. Brian continues with a headlock into a headlock takedown. Regal is able to knee out of the hold and tag out to Burchill. Kendrick hits another headlock takedown on Burchill. Burchill attempts a backdrop suplex, but Brian floats and hits a headlock takedown again. Am I typing in circles? Feels like it. Burchill powers up, but tag out to London. Brian hits a snapmare, and London hits a dropkick to the back for two. Tag out to Brian and London hits a drop toekick. Brian to the ropes for a baseball kick. Tag out to London. Double team clothesline and kick. Regal is in, and he gets a double team back body drop. Burchill in the corner, Kendrick shoots London to Burchill for a big splash, and then Kendrich hits a flying forearm off London's back for two. London gets the headlock... again. Burchill kicks at Kendrick , and shoves London off of him, where Regal pulls down the ropes and beats on London outside. Rolls London back in, and Burchill hits a snapmare and knee drop for one. Burchill with some knees and a hard bodyslam, tag out to Regal. Regal with a big boot to the head, then some forearms to the back. Tag out to Burchill. Burchill hits a samoan drop and a standing backflip splash for two. Brian makes the save. Wow. I was impressed. Regal tagged in, hits a butterfly suplex for two. Tag out to Burchill. Regal picks London up, and Burchill kicks him hard for two. Burchill with a backbreaker. London kicks his way out, Burchill attempts the Samoan Drop again, btu London flips out and tags to Brian. Brian with dropkicks to everyone. Burchill, Regal, Burchill, Regal, Burchill, Regal, My mom. WTF? Kendrick with mounted punches on Regal and Tornado DDT on Burchill. Double drop kick on Regal takes him out, and a Stroke/Dropkick combo takes Burchill down for the three count. Wait... Kendrick and London won? Am I still drunk?
FINAL THOUGHTS: As always, much better then HEAT.